I’m Going Here, There, or Wherever

no hate

Okay, so I’m going here, there, or wherever. I usually don’t rant on the big issues because my opinions are mine, and I keep them that way most of the time. But, I’m so sad that instead of loving each other, we continue to hate. And, we now have so many ways to hate publicly.

I’m going to break one of my biggest rules. I have not been asked my view on these big topics and I’m going to give it anyway – publically.

I’m going to first start off by talking about my political affiliation. You may or may not know that I am a republican. And for the most part I consider myself a conservative republican (update – I am now an independent- I did NOT vote for Trump or Hilary!) , but when I take those quizzes I usually find myself in the middle of many issues. While I believe that many people on welfare should be drug tested, I also believe that all children regardless of where they come from, should be taken care of at whatever cost necessary.

I am a writer. I’ve noticed that many of my creative type friends are not conservative republicans. Really? Ha ha. And most of them still accept me for my faults. This is why I love them so much.

I follow the Pope on Twitter, yesterday he said this, or he had someone else say it for him (I can’t imagine him typing out a Tweet on his iPhone), “The Church is a mother with an open heart, ready to help all people, especially those who try the hardest. “

Now where am I going with this?

When I read the Pope’s Tweet, I was happy to know that the Church as my mother loves me with an open heart no matter what. Like most mothers, she will take me back in and help me find my way. Instead of focusing on the world around me, I TRY to focus on myself. I need to worry about my actions and not everyone else. But that only lasts so long. And here I am on my blog, which will post to my social media sites. So where is my focus now?

My beliefs are mine, and I chose to be Catholic, I try and follow the rules of the Church but I am a child and will always be. I fall many times, and sometimes I’m purposely defiant. When I do what I want to do, I am not one with the church. That is my choice. I will say again, that is my choice.

Because I have been given free will, I get to choose. Yes, the church can give me rules and tell me that I cannot be in full communion because I am not following the rules, just like a parent can make the rules for their children. And like a child, when I don’t follow them I’m punished. I look it at it like I’m grounded. Until I do what I need to do, I can’t have this or that. For me it is the Eucharist and FOR ME, missing out the Eucharist hurts more than anything.

But I will tell you that there are many, many times I struggle with my faith and my church. For my Catholic friends, don’t worry I don’t need any intervention. I’m not leaving. As much as I struggle, I love my faith. Mary Magdalene struggled with impurity and Mother Theresa struggled with her faith. If these wonderful women got through it all, so will I. I personally have struggled with both.

To say I wont judge is a lie, because if I weren’t judging, I would not be writing this. But, I want to make it very clear; the only thing I am judging is HATE. Everyone has free will. Everyone gets to make his or her own decisions period.

So I am going to publically comment on some big issues.

  • I am Pro Life.  My mom had me when she was 16. I had two children out of wedlock and I was scared to do it on my own. I wouldn’t change my world. I know several women who have aborted their children. Some are okay with their decision, while others are not. My job is to love these women. Period. I don’t and won’t hate any of them.
  • I believe in the 2nd Amendment, but I hate guns. I have never shot one and I don’t plan on it any time soon.  It is horrific that a terrorist walked into a church and killed people because of the color of their skin. It is scary that our kids don’t feel safe in their own schools. While I personally don’t think that taking guns away will fix these problems, I do believe that we should have laws to protect us. But I also believe that those laws wont always do what they need to do. Case in point, restraining orders do not always protect. I don’t have an answer for this. I do believe if we were kinder to each other and talked more, many evils would go away. I need to start with me, I’m not always nice.
  • I am not a homosexual. Therefore, I cannot make any statement about how you feel about anything. I don’t know your struggles. I am the white heterosexual girl looking in. The only discrimination I know is that of a single mother. That was hard. Many people looked at me with either pity or disgust. I didn’t need that either. What I needed was for those around me to be kind. And most were kind, even if they did not agree or understand my choices or circumstances. Because of my belief system, I cannot even think of having a homosexual relationship with another woman, and I’m married and that would be cheating. Also, I’m not attracted to women that way. So my point? What do I know? NOTHING! I have LBGT friends. I love them. I respect them. Some of them are married. Some of them are parents. For those out there who want to protect children from “all of those homosexuals” from becoming parents and ruining the children of the world, I would challenge you to start taking in foster kids and making a difference in the world instead of hating against those who are actually making a difference. My sister is a lesbian. She is married. She is not only my sister, but my friend. I love her. I’m grateful she is in my life.

I don’t believe the Catholic Church will change her views on the big things such as marriage, women in the church, and abortion. That is over 2000 years of beliefs. I also believe that is why there is division. Right or wrong, the division is there. It is why the Eastern and Western Churches divided, it is why Martin Luther left the Catholic Faith, and it is why there are different Lutheran communities, different Baptist communities, and Non-Denomination communities. What I will never believe is that it is okay to hate. We are called to Love.

None of us have to believe what the other believes.

We should however, be kind. We should treat every human with respect. We should take care of each other.

If we are going to bring God into this, then we have to remember he created all of us, knowing what we would become. And he still loves me anyway.

The First Spark


The First Spark

A post on Facebook about dating got me thinking. That is sometimes a dangerous thing for me – thinking, not dating. Dating is good for me as long as the date is with my husband. And that is the only person I date, so I’m good there.

After reading the post, my mind wandered back and I thought of those times I was out on a date and my heart fluttered. This is the reason I love to read and write YA. I love to be transformed back to a simpler time when everything was new and I was less cynical. I believe that many of us crave that feeling of first love.

For me, it always started with that first spark. I didn’t need anyone to move mountains. It was always the sweet little things that made my heart race:

  • When your fingers accidentally touch.
  • When he opens the door on his side of the truck so that you will sit in the middle next to him.
  • When you are getting a piggy back ride in the middle of a parking lot while it is raining, and you swear it is the spark between you that sets off the thunder.
  • When he pushes the hair out of your eyes so he can take a closer look.
  • When he offers you a cherry sucker but the taste of the fruit is from his lips.
  • When he writes your name + his name in the snow.
  • When the instant message on your computer pops us and it’s him on the other side of the country wanting to talk to you. (Now thats called  a text message)
  • When he can dance. I mean really dance and he takes you in his arms and you do that Cowboy Cha Cha thing at the county fair.
  • When you get ice cream and then go to the swings at the park and he holds your hand while you sway back and forth.

I would love to hear about your first spark.